Despise Not Chastening

Sunday, March 28, 2010 - approximately 8:15pm.

This was the approximate time of something fairly revolutionary happening in my life. That was about the time of the altar call that commenced after a Sunday night service of the First United Pentecostal Church of Oakdale, MN.

I came to church in a very anxious state. For quite some time, my soul had been a victim of self-inflicted torture. I would frequently mutilate my soul with unspoken words of disdain and hopelessness. For every imperfection I possessed, metaphorically I applied a lash upon my own back as my unseen opponents beheld and rejoiced. In various intervals of my spiritual life, I have done this to myself many times. This last episode of self-soul-mutilation began in mid-January upon my first week of school. This is what I brought with me to church that night.

Due to heightened anxiety and fearfulness, I sat in the very back pew, isolating myself from the gathered congregation up front. Those of you who have ever experienced anxiety are familiar with the "fight or flight" response. Sitting in the back pew was my open door to fly away if I needed to. Where would I go? What would I do? I don't know. Anxiety is a ball of confusion.

In all honesty, I really don't remember what was preached, or even who preached, for that matter. All I remember is the altar call. Instead of going up to the altar, I remained in my pew, but knelt on the floor, laying my head on the pew, covering it up with my jacket. All I could do was cry. In the times of life when we cry, we cry for one out of two reasons. One reason why we cry is because we become so frustrated trying to live life our own way, shutting God out. But the other reason why we cry is because we realize we were wrong in our ways and we become desperate to change our ways. Second Corinthians 7:10 puts it best: "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death." The sorrow of the world is to weep when a hope is destroyed. Godly sorrow is to weep in gratitude knowing that God will always do that which is right by us, working all things together for our good to us that love Him. What is the reason behind our tears?

That night, godly sorrow came over my soul. To condemn, whether it be towards another or towards oneself, is to defeat Jesus' purpose in coming. Essentially, to condemn is to sin. It is telling God "No, thank you," when He offers you the gift of redemption. Jesus gave His life and shed his innocent blood that we might be saved. What more could He give? Greater love hath no man that this that a man lay down his life for his friends. So many of us, after the ultimate sacrifice, insist on denying the gift of salvation by condemning one another and ourselves. John 3:17 - For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. By condemning others and/or ourselves, we are inevitably pushing ourselves outside of the will of God.

This conviction rested upon me that night. I allowed my spirit to pray for the next several minutes as I gathered my thoughts. When my brain had processed my wrongdoings, I began to pray in my native tongue. Normally, I cannot find the words to say when I pray in my own language, but there will come times when an urgency drops into my spirit, and my mouth becomes filled with words. This was one of those times. I can declare unto you in all confidence that when God is in our midst, people will begin to do things outside of their character. Weaknesses will become strengths. I have seen the most introverted of people instantaneously become the most noticeable and powerful people in the room. The soft-spoken become loud speakers. The heartless will become loving. The weak will become strong. The insecure will gain a strong confidence. The foolish will gain wisdom. Even the toughest man will fall to his knees bawling uncontrollably. Who is this God who can do these things? His name is Jesus. His perfect love casts out all fear.

I do not remember exactly what I prayed when the Spirit of God prayed through me in my own language, but I do recall the power that came out from me. The gist of the prayer mainly focused on restoration, not only in my life, but also in the lives of the Bible college students and of saints around the world. By no means does this make me a special being. God will do something like this through the lips of ANY man or woman as long as they are compliant and have humbled themselves. I knew this ecstatic prayer would inevitably have a lasting effect because I knew that "the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16b)

A couple days later, in an ABI chapel service, God heeded to my supplication. Blessings to them who have prayed the same prayers of restoration. God has heard our cries! After our traditional abbreviated song service, the Spirit of God fell. The worshipers arose. There were great cries and screams of desperation as we all entered into the love affair with the King of kings. Needs were met. Hopes were restored. Spirits were revived.

Since my restoration mainly took place the previous Sunday night, this day, I was mainly grieving over a wayward friend of mine who has been so far from God for quite a while. At the time, I didn't realize it, but God used this burden to get my mind off of myself. People who live lives torturing themselves have great difficulty getting their minds off of themselves. They concentrate solely on what they can do to fix or punish themselves, neglecting the needs of others. When God had me intercede for my friend, it not only served as a blessing to my friend, but also to myself. It caused me to get my mind off of myself. Since Jesus summarized the Ten Commandments, there have only been two. The greatest is to love the Lord our God with everything we've got. The second is to love our neighbors as ourselves. To get our minds off of ourselves and onto someone else is to fulfill the second commandment.

Jesus said that if we love Him, then we will keep His commandments. There is a heartbreaking pandemic going around the world of people not loving Jesus with their actions. It is so easy for us to draw near to Jesus with our mouths, and to honor Him with our lips, yet remove our hearts completely from Him. We like to hold on to our grudges, bitterness, burdens, and keep them all for ourselves. In all reality, we are only hurting ourselves. We go through our days holding fast to the trivial and insignificant. O that we could cast away that which stops the Spirit of God from flowing through us. O that we could forsake our pride, our lusts, and our own selfish ambitions.

One of the greatest blessings we can receive is to be corrected of God. We often reject reproof because it feels like a curse, but it is really the only hope we have of being saved.

"For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons." (Hebrews 12:6-8)

The saddest thing that can happen to child of God is to go on in life without correction or discipline. Woe to the individual who lives life being ignorant of all that is right.

"There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness. The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself." (Proverbs 14:12-14)

"Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die." (Proverbs 15:10)

"He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding." (Proverbs 15:32)

I close with this verse: "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." (Hebrews 12:11)

Let us be conscious of our own decisions. Are we making the right ones? Do we carefully weigh out the pros and cons or do we operate strictly out of instinct. "He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly." Let us take the time to become understanding of one another's shortcomings, that we might be more merciful and tolerant. Unconditional love is a choice. It has never been based on a feeling. It is a logical thing. We must not allow our emotions to have control over us. Let us answer to the crying out of wisdom out in the streets before it is too late.

Those of us who have trouble understanding another's shortcomings, we need to just keep out mouths shut. "Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding." (Proverbs 17:28)

Let all things be done unto the glory of God.